Reflections

When I first found out I was pregnant with Harrison, people informed me how different it was to have two children. I found myself just nodding and smiling politelywhile thinking the entire time, "what do you think I'm an idiot? I think I can handle one more baby." I mean, really, how different can having two children be than having just one?

Well, it turns out...a lot.

And let me tell you, it is quite the experience when your first child is still toddling around himself, sucking on a sippy cup, babbling away in his foregin language. It's hard to decipher between day and night for awhile in the newborn stage (which isn't much different than with your first baby) but there is a whole other person to think about than just this pink, wrinkly little bundle who constantly wants to eat, poop, sleep and cry. The focus of life suddenly revolves around diapers, bottles, dry cereal, sippy cups, bedtime stories, and telling your older child that "No, he shouldn't poke his baby brother in the eye!" How is it even possible for a person to juggle between a newborns constant demands and the needs of a one and a half year old? Well, let me tell you, very carefully.

As the days go by, it becomes easier and some of the chaoticness eases but there is always something present in which to shake life up a bit.

When Harrison turned 4 months, I dealt with him getting to sleep on his own and comforting himself. It was hard when he started turning over in his sleep and then deciding he couldn't sleep that way and demanding to be turned. At the same time, I was trying to get him onto a nap routine, listening to him cry insistently through an hour of his nap time. There were days where I ended up in tears, wondering how much longer I could persevere through the crying and the whining of my children. How much longer could I be at home, cleaning, changing diapers, nursing my baby and being cut off from the outside world completely? For awhile it seemed like it would never end and I would never be able to get through it.

But I did.

And now the early days seem just like a bad blur, a very faint bad dream.

Now, am I saying that I didn't love both my children when Harrison was first born? Absolutely not. But I am saying that it was damn hard and I am glad to be over with that phase.

Now that my two boys are 14 months and just about 3, our world has seemed to turn into a completely different place. I am enjoying their newfound independence and I have discovered that Harrison has a vitality, a love for life that is very had to resist. His smile brightens up my day and his laughter makes me laugh right with him. And Will has blossomed into such a loving and caring older brother (of course, he does his fair share of teasing Harrison-but what older brother could withstand such temptation?) and I am so very glad that they are so close in age so that they can share in each others company.

Harrison started toddling around at about 11 months, tentatively taking his first steps between one piece of furniture to the next. And at the end of 12 months, he was walking about 60 per. of the time and crawling the rest. At 5 days shy of 14 months, he is making his first attempts as running as he tries to keep up with his older brother.

So, in short, if I could do it all over again, knowing how rough it can be to have two children so very close in age, would I? YES. I would never change a thing about my life. It isn't perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it is my life and it is full of love, laughter, and 3 of the best guys are girl could ever ask for. :D