Homeward Bound

So I knew there was a possiblity of Josh coming home today and a big chance that was coming home this week.

But I was trying not to get my hopes up and expect him to call me from the airport, saying he was on his way back.

However, that is what happened. And I am pretty excited, it has been 5 weeks since I have seen him and it feels like forever. The longest we had really ever been separated since seeing each other for 4 years was when I went to college, and he would come and visit me periodically throughout the week. So 5 weeks of not seeing each other seemed like eternity.

But, he is coming home now in time for the baby! :D A person has to find the silver lining through everything and I think that is one of them for me. We have some serious decision making to do, although I am pretty sure we have decided to move back to SD after I have recovered from my c-section. There is just nothing out here to offer us and there are a few things that we can look into in SD. SD also only has a 4% unemployment rate, compared to a little over 11% in CA. The valley itself has an umemployment rate of nearly 20%. Yikes. Also, pretty sure he is going to return to school but not sure for what...some kind of masters program. That would help us get his students loans deferred...they are pretty big right now. I have looked into a few possiblities that seem pretty promising, so hopefully something will work out. I also would like to return to school and I want to look into a program in SD, I am still a resident there. I have a GPA of 3.75 with my 62 credits so hopefully that we will work in my favor for whatever I plan on doing.

So our plan? Education, education, education. Yeah, hasn't seemed to work out so great in our favor yet, but a bachelor's degree in History? Yuck, it sucks. lol.

Some good news

I received some good news from my 24 hour test and blood test. Everything looked good, so I was happy about that. Of course, now that I have reached the home stretch I have to go the Dr's every week anyway so I have another appt next Monday. Now the fun begins. lol

Also, I was really sad on Easter because I hadn't heard a thing from Josh since he had been discharged to the 319th squadron and I was bout ready to go out of mind with worry! I had a hope nestled in my heart that since it was Easter that they would let him call me, but that did not happen. BUT on Monday, low and behold their were 3 letters for me from Josh waiting in the mail! I would have jumped for joy, but I am too big to move like that right now. Not a lot to report that is new except he is there, he doesn't like it because all of the guys are immature (big surprise) and hopes to be home in a few weeks. He is on the list, he apparently just needs 7 signatures for the final discharge. So I guess we shall see how long it takes for all of this to go through.

He said that he doesn't want to move, and well of course, neither do I! It is definitely not my ideal but I really don't know what else to do because there are no jobs to be had here. The umemployment rate is abnormally high here...there aren't even part time jobs to be had. Of course, how do we fund going home? I don't know, do we leave a lot of our things behind? He didn't have a plan and I am trying to form one...but it is hard when I don't know what we have to work with. I can't sleep at night with all of these thoughts running through my head. How do I work with what life has given me?...

Fun day at the lab and updates

Went to turn in my 24 hour test today from the lab in the building where my clinic is. It turned out that the lab got flooded from yesterday and was closed. I was like, hmm...need to turn this in today! I was feeling frantic, I really didn't want to have to do that again. We ended up going across the street to a another lab and got in pretty fast. So that all turned out okay. I will get the results back on Monday. I really like the specialty clinic I go to in Fresno and I informed them that they will be delivering the baby. I also let them know that they are my drs now. So got that cleared up. I just hate how far away it is, lol, but it takes less time to go there even with the drive than the one in Madera. It takes forever at the Madera clinic!! They are actually pretty speedy at the Fresno one.

Haven't talked to Josh since Sunday!!!!! I don't think they are going to let me talk to him. I have no idea what is going on and it is driving me crazy. He fell off the face of the earth again. Hopefully he will be home in time for the baby, since he is coming home anyway.

Exhaustion

I am feeling completely exhausted. I am 34 weeks pregnant and let's be honest...a little stressed out. Not sure of what we are going to do or where we are going...it's hard to live like that day after day.

Talked to Josh on Sunday briefly and he told me that he was getting discharged from the hospital. That means he was moving on to his new outprocessing squadron. I haven't heard from him since. It is driving me crazy. I just want to know that he is okay and what the new outlook is.

Had a Dr.'s appt on Friday and my blood pressure was 148/94. Kinda scary.
Then I had another drs appt on Monday and my blood pressure was 116/62. Major difference. But the problem with Monday's appt was I had +2 protein in my urine, so I have to do a fun 24 hour test. Don't ask. lol. Then I have to get my blood taken to make sure my liver is working okay. I'm sure everything is fine, I bet the excess protein was just a fluke.

I have another drs appt at the madera clinic on Friday and a specialty clinic appt on Monday. My mom has those days off so that worked out well.

So, things could be better and they could be worse. Now that he is coming home I just want him here!

Update our Situation

So here's the deal.

This is very hard to say, and difficult to relay but it has to be said because I don't want to hide anything.

I received a call from an unavailable number from Josh on Thursday night. I hadn't expected any calls at all and had left my phone, like an idiot, in the bathroom. My heart raced when I heard his message. It just said to call him at a certain number. I had no idea what was going on. It was late Texas time by the time I called, but I had to know what was going on.

I called not knowing where or who I was calling.

A very dull sounding woman answered, I couldn't understand what she said.

"HI, I'm looking for Josh Allington. I got a call on my phone from him."

"Hold please," the woman said.

Okay...I still didn't know what was going on.

After being on hold for awhile, she came back.

"Ma'am?" She asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Unfortunately all of our patients are sleeping. We can neither confirm nor deny that he-"

I cut her off abruptly, only hearing that awful word patient. "Wait, patient? Is he ok?"

"Hold please," she said again.

I wanted to scream, "no don't leave until I know what is going on!"

What seemed like forever, I mean literally forever, I finally heard a voice on the phone. It was a voice that I recognized. It was Josh's.

"Josh?" I squeaked. "Yeah," he replied.

"What is going on?"

"Okay, look, I've been put in the hospital because apparently I have an anxiety problem."

"Okay...now what?" I asked, my brain trying to process the information. He had never had problems with anxiety before. It didn't make sense.

"I am going to get transfered to a different squadron," he began.

"You are going to be behind too?" I gasped.

"No, I get transferred and then I am on medical discharge, I come home."

Discharge. I couldn't believe it. He was telling me he was done with the air force.

He had to go from the phone, but I eventually got ahold of him later the next day on a pay phone number of the hospital that he gave me. He explained what happened. I don't think anyone can really understand unless they had to experience it like he did, but all he wants me to tell everyone is that he has an anxiety problem and that his personality doesn't mix with the military. The military isn't for everyone, and apparently it wasn't right for him.

He is going to a squadron that gets outprocessed on Monday, which apparently takes 2-6 weeks. He said he heard the average was 3 weeks. So the one bright side is that he will be home for the baby's birth. Maybe that was meant to be.

We are thinking about moving back to SD. Things just haven't been great for us out here and the valley's unemployment rate is close to 20 percent, it is nearly impossible to find a job. The only problem is finding the money to go back.

So, that is things how they are.