Getting along without Josh

Will and I have been getting along without Josh as best we can. Yesterday Will was extremely whiny, which is hard to deal with by one's self. I think that subconsciously he knows that something is weird, because daddy used to be with him every day. But of course he is just a one and a half year old, so he can't place exactly what is bothering him. It is hard then too because I have felt the strain of his absence as well, and I need to make sure that I keep my patience, even if I feel like I am about to crack in half.

Today Will has been a lot better. He is taking a nap right now, even though he thought he didn't want to at first. But, I haven't heard any noise coming out of his room so I am fairly certain that he has drifted off to sleep.

Not too much else to comment on. I have been trying to set up a tour for the birthing center at fresno community regional, but every time I call no one answers. That is a little frustrating. I am trying to set up the appt when my mom has off work for spring break because I want her to be able to accompany me. The worst part is that children aren't allowed on the tour so I have had to try to scramble around and find someone to watch Will while we are there. I am trying to squeeze in a lot of things the week of the 6th, two drs appts and then this tour so we shall see how it goes.

I can't believe that I am almost 8 months pregnant, just a week until it is official! This pregnancy has seemed to gone by much faster than my first one, though I am not sure why. Now I am wishing to not be pregnant anymore, but I am also a little terrified of having two children. It is hard to imagine having two children, but I know when he is here, it will seem like he was always apart of our family.

Each day

Josh just boarded a plane to Texas. He, and other new members of the airforce, are on their way to Dallas. They then have a layover in Dallas for about an hour and then they are on their way to San Antonio, the final destination.

Each day that passes, brings us closer together.

It finally happened

It finally happened. Josh is not here.

I dropped him off at the recruiter's office at about 10:45am today...he had a much harder time with leaving than I thought he would. He did not want to leave us, and I kept having to reassure him that it was the best thing that he could do right now. I mean, I really didn't want him to leave either but I didn't want to make it any harder for him. It is hard with me being pregnant, it brings a lot more complications into the variable but you make the best out of what you have.

He is now in San Jose, sleeping because he has to get up at 3:30 in the morning to get weighed in and such before they take him to the airport. He then waits for his plane to leave (whenever that is.)

Please keep him in your thoughts. He is very, very nervous about starting BMT.

Nervous!!

Tomorrow I have to drive Josh to his recruiters office and then leave him there! I am nervous and excited for him all at the same time. I am also extremely stressed out at all of the things that I have to do alone while he is gone but I am attempting to be the strong person that I know I am...

Only about 9 weeks 'til my due date and then I will most likely have a c-section a week before. I also can't believe I am going to have two children. It boggles my mind.

Dr.'s appt (of course)

Lately I feel like we have been camping out at the dr.'s. This week we had three appts. One at the specialty clinic, one with what is called our "educator" and another one with my regular clinic dr. I had the regular clinic dr.'s appt today. I am very glad that we did have this appt because I cleared up some of the misunderstandings between myself and the Community Regional Dr. at the specialty clinic. My clinic dr. did say that the cr Dr. is the one that will deliver the baby and also I need to schedule my c-section through them (which I should be able to do at the next appt in about 3 weeks.) Hopefully the cr dr. will understand a little better next time why I am there because I ordered my previous medical records through my educator and they should be ready for me to take over to him for the next appt. I think it is important that the cr dr. have an understanding of what happened when I was pregnant with Will. I am not saying that such bad things are going to happen this time, I am really hoping that they won't. I just want to be prepared for them if they do. My blood pressure has been better lately, which I think may have something to do with my excersising consistently in the last two months or so. My weight is still bugging me, I don't understand where all of the weight comes from. That is the one thing that I think I hate the most about pregnancy, it is very difficult to control the kind of weight gain that occurs. It makes me feel completely helpless, but I know that it has to be that way. The only thing I can do is eat right and exercise, which I have been doing so I am doing the best that I can. (At least I think so lol.)

Josh leaves on Monday!!!!! Only three days away...it seems like it has been forever in the making (since October!) but then it has crept up on us this month. I am excited for him to begin his new career so we can start our normal lives again but I am also apprehensive about having him away for so long. I regret him not being here for the baby's birth and his first few weeks of life the most.

Specialty Dr.

I had an appt at the Fresno community hospital on Monday with a high risk pregnancy dr. I am a dork and can't remember his name, I will admit that I am horrible with names. We had another ultrasound, I think that since this is a high risk pregnancy clinic they have ultrasounds at every visit. The baby measured very good and the amniotic fluid levels were good. He is estimated to weigh 3 pounds and 8 ounces. That's my big boy! We also got more 3d ultrasound pics but he was hiding behind his hands most of the time, so we got a few good ones but not a lot.

We then met with the dr. after waiting a while longer (with having a one and a half year old along it can seem like forever!) and he seemed confused on why I was there. My charts, except for a few cases of high blood pressure on scattered occasions, did not show anything abnormal that would warrant a high risk dr. My regular clinic does not have my previous medical records so the new Dr. had nothing to go off of. I explained the reason for my dr.'s concerns (and mine as well.) Of course, as I knew, it is possible for a person not to get preeclampsia again (it is probably more common to not get it again) but I am trying to keep on top of it. I have read some awful stories at preeclampsia.org (the foundation for preeclampsia) about drs not taking women's symptoms seriously and then the baby tragically dies. I would hate to think that I had the power to make sure that my baby was safe and didn't take it just because the odds aren't extremely high that I might get it again. I would never be able to forgive myself.

Anyway, I don't think that this dr. understood that the darin camerana clinic does not deliver babies and switches their patients at the 7 month mark to a different dr. because of that reason. He talked about having me stay with the my previous clinic but wanted me to come back in 4 weeks to check on me (I will be 34 weeks by then!) I was very confused and talked to my educator about it today. She is helping me obtain my medical records so I can give them to the fresno dr. so he can understand a little bit more about my medical history.

I opted for another c-section, for medical and personal reasons, and if all goes well, it will be at 39 weeks. I need to set that up with a dr., not sure which one yet. I think it should be the fresno dr. but...wow, dr.'s can be confusing.

About 6 days until Josh leaves! Time has flown by since we have come back from SD. I am excited for him to go but so apprehensive at the same time. I hate the drs, and I hate going by myself...and I am dreading going alone. It makes me a little teary every time I think about it, but, a person is strong when they have to be. I am going to miss him so much and Will is such a daddy's boy, he is sorely going to miss his daada. But that will make us appreciate him that much more when he is home.

Worn out

I have been trying so hard to stay fit. Josh and I go for a walk almost every day for at least an hour. I have been using some weights to work out and move around but it is so hard to stay motivated when I feel so tired and worn out all of the time. I have been having some problems with my c-section scar hurting in jeans that rubbed against it or pushed against it so I had to splurge for some super comfy hidden belly kapris. They feel really good and I have had less problems with my scar bothering me as long as I wear loose clothing.

I am a little nervous for the drs appt next week with our new dr. I am ALWAYS nervous when I got to the dr., and I don't know why. Drs make me anxious lol.

We have picked out a name for the new baby but I don't want to disclose it just yet. I want to keep it to ourselves for awhile. ;)

Will has moved from his highchair to a booster seat because he kept taking the tray off. Now he keeps pushing himself off of the table. It is so much fun to have a toddler. hehe

Josh leaves in 2 weeks and I am getting very....emotional but I don't want to ruin the time we have left together by being weepy. I want to enjoy our time together. I can't believe it is only 2 weeks! Those 4+ months are going to seem so long!!! Hopefully it goes by fast since I will literally have my hands full with our two children.