New Years

Josh and I are spending a quiet evening at home together for new years. Since I am pregnant, I don't really feel like I am missing out on much.

I only hope that 2009 brings us much luck and a new happy, healthy baby.

Happy New Years! (a little early.)

Christmas away from SD

Josh and I celebrated our first x-mas away from SD, away from the snow and the cold. Never once have either of us traveled for the holidays, so being in Cali for x-mas was a new experien
for both of us.





I was worried about Josh getting homesick and really missing his family around the holidays. I know what it is like to be far away from those you love, and I wanted to make sure that he knew that I wasn't overlooking his feelings. He seemed to handle it fairly well, I think that his family back home had a harder time than he did, which of course made me feel guilty. Whether I should or shouldn't feel guilty I don't know, but the fact is that I do.





Will was still oblivious to x-mas, enjoying the bows off of the presents the most. He got a lot of stuff and he is in heaven playing with all of his new toys. It is hard to believe that next year we will have two children at x-mas.





All-in-all we had a very good x-mas. Things have been rough for us lately, but we are trying to take a good outlook on everything. As long as we have each other, I can take whatever life wants to dish out at us. We can conquer anything.

Will playing with the bows.

The Dr.'s appt

The Drs appt went good today. So far I have only put on 5 pounds, which I am pretty happy about. Though I hadn't expected to put on anything this time around because I had spent most of Wednesday throwing up what I had eaten. I think I had a touch of the stomach flu, that was great fun. But, the less I pack on, the less I have to try to take off later. The Dr. said the baby looked healthy from the ultrasound, so that was good. I asked about the due date, and it is still the same.

I had my blood taken for the AFP test today, which is the one that tests for downsyndrome. Hopefully it comes back clear. Downsyndrome doesn't run in either of our families and I am young, so I am pretty positive it will be okay but one never does know.

The next drs appt is in 4 weeks, the 16th of January at 415pm.

Drs appt (i think lol)

I have a drs appt tomorrow at 215, and I am pretty sure that I still have one. I am kinda looking forward to it to find out what Dr. Kratzer thinks of the ultrasound.

My baby boy

I am still amazed at how good of a boy I was blessed with. He has always been very easy-going and loveable, since he was a newborn. He can always make me laugh by shaking his butt to a Christmas song or shaking his shoulders to the beat. We were driving in the car, Christmas music playing and the song said, "Where are you Christmas..." and I heard him singing with it by going "Goo goo ga ga gaaaaaa." It was really cute, he loves to sing along.

Daddy and Will by the fireplace.

Will at Christmas Tree Lane, he got kinda excited.

Feeling stressed out

Obviously there is a little bit to be stressed out about lately, but I am the most anxious over the birth of this baby. With Josh's brother's girlfriend having a baby, it only makes me think about it more.

I want him to be there with me, either to coach my while I push or hold my hand while I am sliced open. I am scared that I will not have him with me (and it becomes a possibility more and more each day.)

Nothing seems to want to work out for us. We moved down to California thinking that it would be fairly simple for Josh to find a job, since he is a college grad. But that seemed to be a more difficult task than we thought, which was extremely disheartening. And then we found out I was pregnant so we had to revise our situation to fit our needs. When Josh joined the Airforce, it sounded so easy for him to join the airforce with quick enlist and leave in time for him to be back for the baby. But as the days fade away, it has been more and more likely that he will not be here. It just doesn't seem fair. Some people who aren't even in a committed relationship get to be together when they have a baby, they might even just be friends by that time. Josh and I have been deeply committed for quite some time and it just doesn't feel right that he can't be here for myself and the baby.

I don't want Josh's first glimpse of his baby to be over a picture on a phone. I don't want him to hold the baby for the first time when it is a couple months old.

There are a lot of sacrfices to be made when one has children...it is difficult sometimes to keep a smile on and act like everything is perfectly fine. I am not looking for pity, sometimes it feels better to type words, any words, to lighten the heart and the mind.

I feel that things will be fine, in the future, but right now it has been very hard. I miss Sioux Falls so desperately, especially the food. I keep having cravings of food that I can only find there, and being hormonal and dramatic, I of course cry over it sometimes. I miss the snow, I miss driving in a place where I know. I miss the shopping, I miss the stores, I miss pretty much everything about it. I never thought I would, but I miss it.

I'm just having one of those days where everything seems to fall to pieces, like my heart and my soul. But I will brave through it like usual, maybe with a few tears, but with no regret...

No regret because I know that I wouldn't trade my family for the world. Anything that is good isn't easy and anything that is easy isn't good.

Auntie Brianna

Justin and Ashley finally had their baby last night at 11:42pm. It was a little boy they named Trey Noel and he weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces. I am not sure how long he was, no one said. I was surprised they named him Trey because for the longest time they had insisted that they were calling him Tyson. We got a picture sent to my phone (since Josh's now does not have picture capabilities) and he is pretty cute. I saw some striking similarities between Trey and Will when Will was that age. They both have extremely round heads, which I think is what makes them look alike. Of course, maybe he doesn't really, it is hard to get a good idea from a picture on a phone.

Now the fun begins for them, having a newborn isn't easy. Especially the first 6 weeks. It feels like you never sleep...not to mention the stress of trying to acquaint yourself with a newborn. I hope they are ready...but I don't know if anyone really is when they have a new baby.

Going to be an Aunt soon

Josh got a text on his phone at 1 am in the morning from his brother Justin that his baby is on the way. That would have been 3 am South Dakota time, and so far as we know she is still in labor and it is 10:43 here, 12:43pm SD time. She was due on the 26th of December so she is only 2 weeks early, so about right on time.

Justin and his girlfriend Ashley are having a boy, which the last I heard they were naming Tyson.
So now we are just going to wait for a picture on the phone when the little guy gets here. This will be the second baby on Josh's side and our next baby will be the third. They are all fairly close together in age too, Will and Tyson will be 14 months apart and the next baby and Tyson will be about 4 months apart.

Mix-up

So apparently my drs appointment for today had been rescheduled for next friday...but no one had told me. I had just assumed that I had another drs appointment, it isn't unusual for us to feel like we are camping out at the drs.

Needless to say I felt a little stupid, but not so much because I am fairly certain that no one had told me. Oh well...next friday my mom gets off work early so she can watch Will, which will work out better.

Doctor's appointment tomorrow

Just for a quick update, I have a drs appoint tomorrow. The sonographer said that he was sending the results of the ultrasound to Dr. Kratzer, so I am interested to see if he has anything else to say about the ultrasound.

This will be my 4 month checkup, but I have another drs appointment next Friday the 19th for a follow up on UTI. Sometimes it feels like we are always at the dr., by the time the 19th rolls around we will have been at the drs 3 weeks in a row.

Baby Kicks

So the last week or so I have begun to feel fluttering and from my previous pregnancy I can distinguish these flutterings as kicking from the baby. Today they have been getting much stronger; I forgot how wonderful it is to feel the kick of a baby. :D

It kind of feels like the little guy/gal is dancing around in there, perhaps there is a party going on. haha.

Hopefully this baby isn't quite as acrobatic as Will, since he had his umbilical cord wrapped TWICE around his neck. That does worry me a little bit...

Ultrasound

So yesterday was the much anticipated, and the much dreaded ultrasound (only dreaded because I hate having to drink soooo much water.)

Anyway, I drank a bunch of water in the car and by the time we got to the the clinic, I looked at Josh and said, "Oh Man, I already have to pee." So that wasn't a great start for me, lol. And then it felt like they were never going to call my name, and I am trying not to think about how much I have to go to the bathroom. They finally called my name and I breathed a sigh of relief and they took us to this tiny little room separated by a curtain. Our ultrasound technician was as old as the hills. I swear to god this guy probably used the first ultrasound equipment ever. He wasn't a big smiler and apparently wasn't a huge talker. There wasn't a screen to where I could see what was going on so just the ultrasound guy and Josh could see what he was doing and that irritated me a little. I hated not knowing what was going on, especially since it was my body and I was being left out in the dark!!!

So the ultrasound guy had a crabby look on his face, or at least he was frowning, and he said," Did you have any irregular periods?" I said truthfully, "No........."and then I can't help but ask him why, because he can't ask a question like that and not elaborate on why he is asking the question. "The baby is measuring smaller than what I have on your charts. I don't think you are as far along as you think you are."

My stomach dropped directly to my toes. I knew that my date was about 99% accurate. I had charted my last missed period on the calendar like always and had taken a pregnancy test many, many weeks ago. So I was thinking that I wasn't wrong, so there was something wrong with the baby. I was totally freaked out and wanted him to tell me what was going on.

An eternity later, he finally turned the screen around and said, "The baby is curled up in a little ball."
"Oh!" I exclaimed, looking at the picture. It was barely discernible. Seriously, the baby was curled up as tight as it could get, making it hard to figure out what was what.
"Is that why it was measuring small?" I asked. "Yes," He answered. Needless to say, I felt so much better after he said that, but I was a little peeved that he had scared me.

The ultrasound picture we were able to take home is a little hard to make out, to say the least. Like I said, the baby was curled in a ball and it is hard to tell the feet from the head in the picture. haha. The baby stayed asleep through the entire ultrasound, which I thought was pretty funny because the ultrasound guy had certainly rocked the boat. He pointed out the baby's beating heart to us, which I thought was pretty amazing.

Just as we were prepared to leave, the ultrasound guy said, "I measure the baby at 17 weeks and 5 days." That surprised me because I was just 17 weeks and I told him so. "That would put your due date at May 15th."

So I am curious to see what the dr says and if he is going to use the due date from the ultrasound or the original due date, May 20th. We have a drs appointment on Friday, so we should find out anything else out on Friday.

Picture of William

Just thought I'd update. Nothing too important to add. I am hoping that my antibotics kick in soon, I am still not feeling great and I really want to feel well for the ultrasound on tuesday.

Will has started walking with the aid of our arms, moving his little feet so adorably. He isn't quite walking by himself yet, but he is working on it. He likes the way he gets around now, it works for him and until he thinks otherwise, he will keep on trucking with what he is doing.

Here are some pictures of Will.

The picture on the bottom is actually of him pooping. I had to capture it on film because his face is so hilarious. It is too bad the pic isn't closer.

He loves to get into the cupboards, snoop around and then crawl inside. He doesn't really like the dark too well so he usually scoots back out again as fast as he went in.

The First Blog

I created this blog to keep everyone updated on my pregnancy, Will's progress, and Josh's upcoming (hopefully upcoming) deployment.

I had a Dr's appointment today because lately I have been having the strong urge to go to the bathroom but when I get there, it isn't as urgent as I thought. Since I am only 16 weeks pregnant, I figure it probably isn't the baby that is squishing my bladder so I scheduled a Dr's apt to see what was up. I ended up seeing a nurse practitioner at my clinic because my regular Dr. is always so busy. She was very, very nice. Such a wonderfully personable woman and she prescribed me some antibiotics. So hopefully I will start feeling better soon. I was rather nervous about having a UTI because I have heard of people who let them get so bad that they go into premature labor. Not good. When we were at our appointment, the nurse practitioner scheduled me for an ultrasound. I was wondering when they were going to schedule an ultrasound. My Dr. had mentioned it at our first appt and then never mentioned it again. She wanted to schedule it between the 15-20 weeks because that is when a AFP test is able to be read. It is a blood test that can test for down syndrome. We did not do this test with Will and I am a little bit nervous about having it done, but as long as it is just a blood test and does not harm the baby at all, I am okay with it I guess. The ultrasound is for Tuesday, the 9th and I will be 17 weeks when they perform the ultrasound. Hopefully they will at least be able to give us an idea of the baby's sex!!! I have to admit that I really, really want to know what it is. I am not looking forward to drinking 32 ounces of water 30 mins before though. I have the bladder that is very small and I think I may burst! I didn't have to drink water before Will's ultrasound and it was very comfortable...I don't think this one is going to be the same.

Josh had a meeting with the airforce people on tuesday and really didn't find out anything new. They basically were talking about jobs that were open that got paid more because they aren't very desirable and that kind of stuff. He has to go to a meeting the first tuesday of every month before he is shipped out. Unfortunately, the airforce put a stop to quick enlist the minute he joined, so we have absolultey no idea when he is going to leave. He is scheduled for March, but we are praying that he leaves before then.

Though I really think that he won't be here for the baby's birth...I can't express how that makes me feel. Sad, kind of angry, and very, very scared.